Sunday, June 24, 2012

2 questions that can change your life for the better.

Do you ever feel trapped?  Do you ever wonder why the change you want never seems to make it's way to you in a long lasting way?  Does a "supposed to" thought process exist in your world?  I am not referring to manners that we are "supposed to" do or right vs. wrong when it comes to treating people or ourselves well.  "Supposed to's" should exist where good manners are concerned, for example.   

I ask these questions because of limitations people place on themselves.  Limitations that
confine a person to a mundane, painful, stressful, unhealthy, and scarce life.  I know we all can't win the lottery for instant financial success.  What we can do is start recognizing, believing and acting the truth of the old clichés, "I am the captain of my ship" and "I create my own destiny."  We are stuck because we create the circumstances that keep us stuck.  I've mentioned in a previous post that we are our problem creator which means we are our only solution.  It takes personal responsibility and personal accountability to make first, the decision, to want to live a happy, healthy, effortless and free life.  It takes tremendous courage, discipline and faith to take the necessary steps to live the life your inner core is screaming for.  This can be applied to someone who suffers from migraines and treats them with prescriptions instead of finding and addressing the root emotional cause, to a person who chooses to live with an abusive spouse, or to a sales professional who is in a funk and instead of looking to themselves for the solution gets caught up in a blame game.  

Maybe this is my answer to the above questions.  So a new question comes to the surface.  Do people lack the courage, discipline and faith to make changes and face the paralyzing fears that have prevented them from living a life that is true to their core?  If so, how do we get these key ingredients?  I can tell you it is not from external elements.  Although having someone in your corner who believes in you is most helpful.  It takes real honesty with your inner core you and not the superficial honesty.  You know what I mean, not the honesty that glazes over the truth and partially blames others or the circumstances.  Take a good hard look at everything that has brought you to the point of auto pilot.  Take a hard look at the environment surrounding you currently,  the shame you may feel, the fear of others finding out your skeletons, etc.  This process takes time, patience and most importantly practice.  You have developed your self defense mechanisms and way of operating for how many years now?  You have judged yourself and others for how long?  

Before I continue I want to be clear.  Someone who has a job vs. a career can be blissful and healthy.  Someone who is in a volatile or dead end relationship, career, etc. can learn to steer their life and a business professional that is finding it increasingly difficult to develop business, can turn things around.   It takes hard work, especially in the beginning.  The truth is however, it takes less effort to live a free, blissful and abundant life than it does to remain where you are right now.  We are victims of systems and the human way of doing business and living our lives.  Every day we hand over our decision making to someone or something else.  We allow others to dictate our worth and eventually our needs.  In the beginning, it isn't our fault because we are conditioned to do so.  We are taught to conform without question.  We don't know any better.  The institutions that we belong to keep this mentality status quo because it suits their purpose.  It becomes our fault, however, when we learn this truth and do nothing about it.  

Personally, I had had enough.  I was a prisoner of my fears and limiting beliefs.  This post comes from my living on the other side.  I know where I came from and what I went through to break free.  I continue to practice living and believing in my life's purpose according to my inner core.  It is so much easier than how I used to live.  Please know, on the outside looking in, my life appeared to be perfect.  All of my physical and materialistic needs were met.  I was provided opportunities to have a "good life."  I had everything and anything I could possibly imagine available to me.  Access to great schools and affluent families and activities were abundant.  So what was the problem?  I was taught not to trust in my own instincts, how to give someone else authority over my life, resulting in a feeling of unworthiness.  This is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg and something for another post.  Suffice it to say that I reconnected with who I am which is very similar to who you are I bet.  I am going out on a limb here, but I believe we all want acceptance, love, respect, to live a happy, healthy and uncomplicated lives.  I believe we not only want these things, but that we are born with the divine right to have them.  Our human traits, such as, greed, fear, desire for control and power have taken us so far off course.  We have lost our way so deeply.  It is time to get back to basics.  It is time to realign ourselves with our inner core.  It is time to be free of the old way of doing things.  So where do we begin?

Believe it or not you already began to change and your attraction to this post is proof.  You've been thinking or feeling for a long while now that things just aren't right or that something has to give.
You are correct and here are two questions that can help you get unstuck and change your life for the better.
When you begin to experience a doubtful, negative, limiting thought ask yourself the following:

  1. How do I know that?
  2. Is this true?

When you ask yourself "how do I know that?" and come up with "my parents told me" or "my friends" or "my ex-wife",  or "just because" etc.  All this means is that you received information about you according to their world.  You are not the main character in their life nor in anyone's life for that matter.  The only main character you play, is in your own life, and that's YOU.  YOU are the only one, from moment to moment who can say, "my story will not end like this today."  When we begin to see that other's views of you is nothing more than a judgment based on that persons world that is not yours, we can begin to see the ridiculousness of living by another's expectations and authority.

When derogatory comments are made by others or when we put ourselves down we can ask "is this true?"  "You're an idiot", "you're worthless", …..are painful and scary thoughts.  Are they true?  Last time I checked no one intentionally wakes up and states, "today, I am going to be an idiot" and therefore will ruin some else's day as a result.  Whatever the chatter or judgment, in my experience, I have never heard them say yes these painful and hurtful comments are true.  It is a simple act to ask ourselves these questions.  When we remember to ask them in the middle of a routine we have practiced for so long it opens our consciousness to the truth of who we really are.  Once this begins, then our course is set for living an effortless, happy and abundant life.  There is no more space for fear and scarcity.  Only personal accountability, personal responsibility and personal/professional success is the result.  We can begin to RELAX. RELEASE. and RECEIVE our divine rights.  The need for arrogance and gimmicks no longer exist.  Radical transparency takes over, healing begins and abundance is the result. 

All my best,


  1. Great article Pam. Thanks a lot for sharing. Yuri

  2. You are most welcome Yuri! Thank you for your support!

  3. Pam, Great advice! Our attitudes and ability to stay positive definitely helps us to push through and be successful.
    Thanks, Vanessa

    1. Thank you Vanessa for taking the time to read my article. I couldn't agree with you more!