Wednesday, December 12, 2012

New Blog Address

Thank you for stopping by.  Please see the new and improved callingtherealYOU blog at  Be sure to sign in so that you can receive updates for new posts.

I would be honored if you "liked" the callingtherealYOU facebook page at

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Mother Nature knows best....

Does anyone else feel like nature is forcing us to get back to basics?  As "SANDY" knocks on the door of the East Coast, with people still feeling the effects of "IRENE", these epic storms and other natural disasters forces everyone to stop.  Simply stop....take stock in what we have and reconnect with who we are.....Our social media, smart phones, all modern day conveniences keep us from connecting on a deep level, the only level that matters, with what is most important, our inner core (soul) and those that we love.  As horrible as everyone remembers last OCT. was, I also remember comments from people enjoying their time with their families surrounded by candle light and lanterns, "camping out" in their homes, playing board games, catching up on sleep, simply being.  
Maybe, just maybe if we governed ourselves a bit more with (critical thinking, independent thought, etc.) guarded our thoughts and judgements and became disciplined enough to have solid, healthy boundaries as to how we live our lives, Mother Nature wouldn't have the need to step in and "slap us" out of our disconnected trance of life.  Another school of thought is that our collective trance is actually creating these storms.  Food for thought and can be discussed at another time.....
Regardless of the cause, I am sending positive intentions for all of us to find the silver lining in what is to be the result where "SANDY" is concerned.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Optimism vs. Pessimism

A repetitive theme is surfacing in my coaching sessions for some of you.  The theme is the nature of optimism vs. pessimism rather positive vs. negative or even more so victim vs. conscious creator.  I thought I'd share below with everyone with the intention that it can help us all.

You've heard me mention before that we create our environment whether we put ourselves in a prison of negativity, blaming others and not taking responsibility of our own actions OR we create an environment of positive energy, shifting our thoughts to support that notion/truth that anything is possible when we are mindful of our actions.

We have a choice.  Every moment is a clean slate to learn and grow and become the person we are meant to be. Every moment is an opportunity to practice a lifestyle of well-being in the purest sense of the word covering every aspect of our lives.  As you know, this has an overall effect on everything we do. Everything, from work related initiatives to personal ones.

Below is a helpful tip to dislodge us from a disempowering pattern.

The difference between Optimism and Pessimism is really quite simple. It’s all about our frame of reference to the world.

     In any given moment we either choose to be a victim or we choose to be conscious creator. 
  • One strategy is to practice noticing when we are on cruise control heading into a victim frame of mind.
     So how do we catch ourselves heading toward the land of poor me?

     If you find yourself:
  • complaining
  • criticizing
  • blaming
  • gossiping and 
  • comparing
you can be pretty sure you’re camped out in Victimhood—the unhappiest, powerless place on Earth.

  •      Get off at the next exit by asking yourself this: “What do I want?”
    Victims consistently focus on all the things that are wrong in their lives including the people they live, work or share breathing space with, which is really just a reflection of all their inner judgements.  The conscious creator gets crystal clear on what she/he wants.

     So, what do you want?

Mindfully Yours,

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Wellness Programs: Are You Throwing Spaghetti?

The National Association of Insurance Professionals asked me to write an article for their readers regarding wellness programs.  I collaborated with Brian Passon, President - Arch Health & Productivity.

Click on the link below and enjoy!

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Does the FOX/UFC opening intro hurt or help the MMA image?

I am happy that the UFC has gone mainstream via the relationship between UFC and FOX.  Truly, I am.  I am excited and definitely not surprised that MMA is the fastest growing sport in the world.; The sport and the athletes deserve a growing audience to witness the strategic art form that MMA is.  I am in the minority, as a business woman, when I attend board room meetings with CEO's, Vice Presidents and Directors not because I am a woman, but because my sport of choice isn't baseball, basketball, football, soccer or golf.  My sport of choice is MMA, reality fighting, gladiator style.  You can hear a pin drop every time I proudly admit that I am a huge fan of UFC and the elite fighters that fight with such heart.  After the initial silence, the degrading comments begin about how "the fighters are knuckle heads" and how "they aren't the brightest bulbs on the tree" or "it's so violent how can you stand to watch it?"  It's always the same judgements.  I still haven't figured out who ends up more shocked….the

Sunday, June 24, 2012

2 questions that can change your life for the better.

Do you ever feel trapped?  Do you ever wonder why the change you want never seems to make it's way to you in a long lasting way?  Does a "supposed to" thought process exist in your world?  I am not referring to manners that we are "supposed to" do or right vs. wrong when it comes to treating people or ourselves well.  "Supposed to's" should exist where good manners are concerned, for example.   

I ask these questions because of limitations people place on themselves.  Limitations that

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

What can we learn from MMA and elite fighters?

I have a thing for cage fighting and Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) where the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) and The Ultimate Fighter (TUF) come alive.  I've had a thing for it ever since I came across cage fighting over twenty years ago, when it came out on late night T.V.  I knew I had fallen hard for the sport because it was important enough for me to watch the entire show while standing a foot a way from my T.V. with the volume down as low as it could go, so not to disturb my parents.  Yet, loud enough to hear the names of the moves and fighters.  I believe my appreciation of MMA fighting began when I watched Sunday karate movies with sub titles and voice overs, in addition to, enjoying  Jean Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal movies.  
I have a strong appreciation for the true art that it is.  I respect the discipline and the heart that it takes to shut out everything that does not support a fighter's desire to be their very best.  The level of respect the fighters display for one another once the fight is over is heart warming. 

Friday, May 4, 2012

Connecting you with Jaclyn Vocell: 3 things you can do to soften your heart and live a more joyous life.

WOW!  Thank you Jaclyn for spending the time with me.  I had such great time with you, even after we stopped recording!   Next time, I'll "keep the camera rolling."

"Yes it certainly was amazing!! I can't believe that was your first VLOG interview! You were such a natural and I enjoyed chatting with you even when we stopped recording lol!" ~ Jaclyn Vocell

You, your message and your ability to quickly get to the heart of the matter with anyone who chooses to work with you is a blessing.

If you are someone who is in transition, stuck with a particular issue or are just looking for a great role model, check out Jaclyn Vocell, you will NOT be disappointed.
Find Jaclyn at

** For some reason the videos get interrupted with another video.       Just toggle the cue a bit to get my video to jump start.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

"Not being you and not connecting with yourself puts a mental drain on your body and mind." ~Serena Horton, 14

This was written by my daughter, Serena Horton, 14.  I was impressed with her message and asked if I could share her opinion on my blog.  I am happy that she said yes.

No one is ever “perfect.”  I recently discovered that magazines take a model’s face with no makeup and completely do all the makeup on a photoshop download for computers.  It is fake, deceiving, and  unnatural.  “Regular people” look up to those pictures that professionals photoshop and want to be just as beautiful.  In reality, no one could ever be flawless like that.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

3 Tips to ease into a baggage free and sustainable happy career.

"The things you want are always possible; it is just that the way to get them is not always apparent.  The only real obstacle in your path to a fulfilling life is you, and that can be a considerable obstacle because you carry the baggage of insecurities and past experience." 
~ Les Brown

Just as baggage holds down a relationship, so won't baggage weigh down your chances for a successful career or business.   Without a balance between work and life your chances for sustainability in a happy career lessen.  What does balance have to do with baggage?  When you carry baggage such as insecurity, fear, and feelings of unworthiness, they tend to weigh heavily on your mind and keep you off center.  

Monday, March 5, 2012

Three Tips for developing business.

In the sales industries there is a frenzied feeling of making the most appointments you can, as soon as you can make them, in an to attempt to sell your product.  I have been surrounded by the theories of "keeping your funnel full," "it's a numbers game," "the more you quote the more you sell," for the better part of 13 years.  These theories, when put into practice, absolutely work.  As a marketing and sales professional I also know that it takes  more than the old clich├ęs to be successful.  We are working with real people who have real lives, external stressors and higher professional priorities.  I have been fortunate and am blessed with a successful track record for building and maintaining relationships.  I attribute my success to several elements.  Here are three that you may find useful.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Drop elevator pitch and start connecting | Hartford Business

Drop elevator pitch and start connecting | Hartford Business

When I saw the title of this I couldn't believe how appropriate the timing was, as I just finished creating a training for sales professionals, called Stop Presenting and Start Connecting.
This article has some good pointers for those who dread the elevator pitch!

Sunday, February 19, 2012

The Art of Referrals by Pamela Horton
I had the privilege of contributing to a fellow muse Kathy McAfee's, “America’s Marketing Motivator”, blog.  She asked me what my thoughts were on the value of referral partners.  I enjoyed sharing my insights for creating and managing referral partner relationships and thought I would share them here with you.  
My thought process when referring business always involves what is best for the individual that has asked for the referral. 

Monday, February 6, 2012

Choosing our life partner.

"We choose our partner, many times unconsciously, who is perfectly suited for us, based on our image that we have created from all of our experiences from childhood. These partners have the unique ability to heal our childhood wounds. They have qualities that are similar to the positive and negative qualities of our original caretakers, and cleverly, we have chosen them because they hold the special characteristics that, when combined with our own personality traits, will help us to finish ALL of our unfinished business from childhood." Tammy Nelson L.P.C.
The same partner that ultimately can help heal old wounds, also have the uncanny ability to poke us in vulnerable places like no one else can.  That is why relationships seem like such hard work and why they feel so painful.
If you are in a painful cycle stop:

  • withdrawing &/or attacking your partner
  • Understand that there is a reason or belief that makes both of you react and trigger each other
  • Get out of the power struggles
  • Stop trying to control your partner and environment 
  • Take time to figure out how to get your needs met  
  • Figure out who you are, who you want to be 
  • Be grateful, for then miracles will happen in the most profound ways


~Pamela Horton

Saturday, February 4, 2012

It is moments like these....

       It is moments like I had tonight that provide a perfect opportunity to teach compassion for ourselves.  Tonight I experienced what I call a professional hiccup.  I presented in front of a large group and well, if I had to grade myself, I would give myself an F.  I absolutely did everything they teach you NOT to do in Public Speaking 101.  I spoke in circles, didn't stay on task by following my "script", froze and actually asked for a moment to collect myself.  Of course those that were with me, disagreed with my perception and because they have seen my presentation skills before they also know that I am not only comfortable speaking in front of a large group, but that I do it rather well.  None the less, it felt awful, awkward and it was most embarrassing for me.  It was a train wreck folks, make no mistake.
You see, no matter how well we do something, and how often we do that something well, there will be moments that we hiccup.  A moment where nerves get the best of us, we feel flustered from being late to a meeting, feel scattered, have an argument with a loved one, or feel tired.  It could be anything that triggers us enough to block us from doing that thing well!  

Friday, January 27, 2012

Paradox of Age ~ the 14th Dalai Lama.

We have bigger houses but smaller families;
more conveniences, but less time.
We have more degrees but less sense;
more knowledge but less judgment;
more experts, but more problems;
more medicines but less healthiness.
We’ve been all the way to the moon and back,
but have trouble in crossing the street to meet our new neighbour.
We built more computers to hold more copies than ever,
But have less real communication;
We have become long on quantity,
but short on quality.
These are times of fast foods but slow digestion;
Tall men but short characters;
Steep profits but shallow relationships.
It’s a time when there is much in the window
But nothing in the room. 

I first saw the words above in a Tibetan gift shop in Mystic, CT, last weekend.  As I was reading them, I found myself feeling relief knowing that I wasn't the only one that felt this way.